porter begging for food. you'd think he never eats, but in reality he eats EVERYTHING, whether it's food or not. he's growing on me, even though he's the naughtiest pug i've ever met. last night he somehow grabbed jeremy's glass of sweet tea off the bedside table and spilled it right in the middle of our mattress. the whole thing. i'm not sure how he managed it without dropping it in the floor, but he was unapologetic.

list of things porter has eaten/chewed up that he shouldn't have:

an entire pound bag of chicken jerky dog treats (all in one setting)
a box of valentine's chocolate
a pack of bubble gum
(this was all in one night. the next day was not so pretty.)

two more packs of gum
a half bag of chewy sweet tarts
a bag of taco doritos
part of an avacado
a curry cheese torte (that thing was so gross i wouldn't even eat it)
various food items stolen off of our plates on the coffee table
about 10 ponytail holders (swallowed and digested, not just chewed)
a roll of film
my bookmark
a painting from a friend (sorry, kandi. i still hung up what was left of it. he dug it out of my plastic art tote, which was also covered in clothes and boxes and upstairs in the bedroom while he was baby-gated downstairs. he jumped the gate somehow, went upstairs, got all the stuff off the tote, found the painting, and brought it downstairs to shred it. i think he knows exactly what to get to push my buttons, much like when Nocci shredded his registration papers in front of me after i had been looking all over our apartment for them for WEEKS. he was hiding them, i swear.)
magnets off of the fridge
several books on the bookshelf
my new shoes
several nails and thumbtacks
the leash handles
tubes of dried up glue (luckily they were all dried up and no harm was done. he got it out of the trash.)
once i found him carrying a knife around. no joke.
god knows how many pounds of rocks (he eats rocks when we take him on walks. we "short leash" him as much as possible, but he swoops down and eats any pebble he comes across and we have no idea why.)

we're thinking of starting a blog called something like "Will Porter Chew That?" because we have yet to find anything that he WON'T chew.

and i'm not just a horrible slob who leaves things like knives and bags of sweet tarts in the floor, people. he is a tricky little dog who has even gotten things off of our kitchen bar, which is like four feet off the ground.

luckily, we're laid back people, he hasn't eaten anything that would kill him, and we're working harder to keep things strategically hidden from him. it's almost like a sitcom, and every day i come home wondering what he's destroyed that day.

but, really, he is growing on me. he and nocci are learning how to interact better, they've only had one or two REAL fights over treats, and they seem to be calming down some. yay!


Shannon said...

Oh wow... dare I say, worse than having an actual child? You have your hands full with this little cutie (love the name btw.) And yeah, I say a Porter adventures blog could be quite entertaining. :D

brandi said...

Ha! Porter certainly is a handful. He's lucky he's so cute! It's hard to stay mad at him for too long.

Alethes Ginosko said...

All I have to say is WOW.

superkantastic.com said...

!!! Porter is bad... but he makes up for it with being cute.